Current mood:

crushed

So. I haven't written anything on the subject yet. Mostly because I don't know what to say. Mere words, usually my greatest vice, are of no use to me at the moment. But because I am overflowing with emotions, maybe writing it out will help. I doubt it.

It's been hard to stop crying for the past couple of days. Sometimes, there are moments where I feel silly for crying over people that I didn't even really know. But then the 'logical' side of me kicks in, and I know that there is no shame over crying for lost lives, no matter what the circumstances.

Chris was always one of my favorite wrestlers, and yes, I'm taking this hard. It's not fair to say that I'm not interested in what happened to them. Rather, I don't believe we will ever know; and therefore, I don't care what the news reports say. I believe Chris is the only one who will ever know why, and he can't tell us now. It's really none of our business, anyway. This was a private thing, within their family. And while my grief-striken heart is curious, if I did somehow possess the information, I wouldn't feel right having it.

What I do care about is the loss of three beautiful lives in this fucked up world.

I try, usually, to respect other people's opinions. But in this situation, I have zero tolerance. I've read too many "opinions" stating that how dare we honor a wife-beater, a drug addict, a murderer. If somebody dared come up and say that to my face, they'd be on the ground holding their broken nose. Whatever may have happened that night, the man we grieve for is not a murderer. Three victims were removed from that home. Let's just remember that.

I would like nothing more than to be able to move past this, and I know that I will, in time. But I take death very seriously, and right now, I am in mourning. I mourn for a man I never knew, but who came into my home every week and put his life on the line to entertain me. I mourn for a man who loved his friends, and his fans, and most of all, his family. I mourn for a mother and child who maybe didn't understand why this was happening to them, and I hope that they have all found peace and understanding, now.

To Chris, Nancy, and Daniel Benoit: you will never be forgotten. I hope you all have found whatever god you believed in.

Oh, and Vince? Fuck you. I hope karma gives you exactly what you deserve.